Once again I begin with gratitude. Thank you to everyone who has visited, read, followed,shared, commented on, liked and messaged this blog. Believe me it means a lot. Because every time you perform one of the above actions you make someone smile. The confidence that is growing in Moglet number 2 cannot be measured, nor can it be denied. To know that many people are sharing, empathising and learning through our journey is a tremendous feeling. So thank you.
After Tuesday's parking issues I promised a return to our ' story ', so here goes.
The wait to see the Ed Psych turned out not to be that much of a wait. She rang and told me she could ' squeeze us in ' on a Saturday. One of the benefits of a private assessment, coupled with the fact that she would come to assess Moglet number 2 at home. Although,as I was flinging myself, around trying to clear the detritus of 4 kids, 2 dogs, 2 cats and 2 busy adults, the 'in the comfort of your own home' business didn't feel that much of an advantage. Moglet Daddy, watching the mad woman at work, briefly passed comment about how unusual such activity was. I have no recollection of what happened to the other 3 Moglets that morning. I can only assume that Grandma strapped on her armour and rode them away some where on her white charger.
The assessment was long but painless. It began with questions about Moglet Number 2, from birth, actually pre-birth, to where we were now. What were our concerns? Did he walk late? What was his birth like? Etc etc
I was suddenly possessed with this overwhelming,but completely insane desire to make all the answers the right ones. It was truly crazy. WE had initiated this assessment, WE were the ones convinced there was something that needed addressing. But when faced with the reality of questionnaires and tests, I stumbled and stuttered. I suddenly wanted normal. But I was a big brave Moglet mummy and I told the truth. I didn't pretend the 'hurt had gone away' because I didn't like the medicine. I gave truthful answers to the direct and difficult questions I myself had asked of so many parents time and time before. Only now I began to understand what it really costs to answer those questions truthfully. What it costs to admit to someone else, who might actually agree with you, that you think your child has a problem.That your child needs help you cannot provide.
Throughout the process Moglet Number 2 was his usual horizontal self. We were open and honest with him right from the start, stressing that everything was for his benefit, that no one was looking to 'catch him out', just help him.
He accepted that.
That seems such a throw away, gloss-over- it, sort of statement but it's true. We were lucky that he was laid back and accepting. Throughout all of this, up to this point, the worries had been ours. There might have been some frustration on Moglet number 2's part and maybe waning interest, but he was always on the whole happy. I am thankful for that. I know it isn't so with all children who struggle through school with unidentified or undiagnosed problems. We were lucky, and for that I am grateful.
The Ed Psych gave us verbal feedback on the day. Quite unexpectedly.
Her opening gambit was "You have a very bright son."
Immediately I am torn. Inside I am doing secret cartwheels, whilst at the same time I am terrified she is going to tell me, I -we- have imagined the whole thing, that we have wasted her time and a chunk of money. That I need to get real and get on.
"You have a bright son. His IQ is in the top 93% of his peers. Which is why he has coped so well for so long. His profile shows clear dyspraxic tendencies, which he has managed with various coping strategies."
Cue guilt! Cue relief! Cue uncertainty! How is it possible to feel all these emotions at once whilst smiling and nodding at the kitchen table. A bit like a nodding dog in a car. Nod! Smile! Nod! Smile!
Moglet Daddy is asking intelligent questions. I am nodding and smiling.
"What's the next step? " I hear him ask. "What do we need to do?"
I snap back into the moment. Guilt can wait, I need to pay attention.
"I will write a formal report. The next step for you is to get Moglet #2 to an Occupational Therapist for a full motor assessment."
We are one step closer.